The Things I do For Friends
by Chaotica
Summary: Don't ask.
1. Evil

A/N: I wrote this for a friend, but she is not around my area and I can't e-mail it to her. I will remove this later unless you crazies out there actually like it. It's a blatant multiple insertion of myself and two friends. I wasn't planning on posting it but circumstances have risen and her I am posting this little piece of insanity.  
I do not condone Mary Sues/SIs' unless they are done as a joke or for the entertainment of friends.  
  
The Things I do for Friends.  
  
"The court calls Aza, serial number 342-B-8423628-GE-7 to approach for evaluation."  
The spectators turned to see the tall-ish female Irken walk silently up to the table set before a Tallest. She wasn't on trial, this was an evaluation of her sanity.  
"I don't know why you bother to come here." Zeta said to Axia who was beside her. "It's not like she's ever going to prove she's okay."   
Axia was a good deal shorter than Zeta. She was a Semi-Tallest and Zeta was a Tallest.  
Zeta had on a rather informal 'Tallest' uniform with mostly bluish colors to it. Axia wore a red and black 'Semi-Tallest' uniform. It was a cross between Invader and Tallest.  
They had been around each other since their 'Second day Orientation' after they had been initialized.   
"Oh come on, it's for moral support." Axia said. "Besides, who else is going to keep the guards from tranquilizing her when she freaks out again."  
"Did they restrain MD?" Zeta asked as she watched Azas' physiatrist approach the panel of Tallest.  
"He's in an isolation ward supposedly turned off until this is over. They didn't want him in storage. You know how he has a habit of turning back on."  
"The court calls for the appointed test."   
Both females turned and expected the worst.  
The female Aza balked before she entered the elevator. It was one that had been installed to allow guests up to the balcony. The doors started to close.  
"Mother of Irk let me out!" Aza shrieked. There was the sound of metal being bent out of shape.  
Guards rushed in and tried to keep Aza from leaving the elevator and the muzak that was torturing her.  
"Order! Order!" The Tallest shouted.  
"She bit me!" A Guard screamed. Blood gushed from a wound on his hand.  
"The court finds no reason to allow Aza GE-7 back on duty until she can fulfill the requirements that have been set for her."  
There was a pitiful sound from the female Aza as she was lead away. But then her anger surfaced and her right eye twitched. "I'll get you Zember!" She screamed at her physiatrist. "You! You!" Her jaw clenched shut and she growled in his general direction as she was taken off.  
"As tradition demands, we ask who will take Aza GE-7 as a dependant until her next hearing."   
Axia stood up. "I Axia 321-A-4472728-VD-3 will take Aza GE-7 as a dependent."  
The Tallest nodded. "So be it. Bring in the next one."  
"Well that was memorable." Zeta said. "Come on Axia, let's go see how she is this time."  
Both females stood up, one taller than the other and left.   
"Poor Aza, after her Musacia assignment, she's just berserk." Zeta said as they headed to the isolation ward that they had taken Aza to. It was the same one her beloved SIR unit had been held in.   
"She's not right. I mean she named her SIR 'Mechanical Death' for crying out loud." Axia said as they rounded a corner. "But still, she's not all bad. Unless she hears elevator muzak."  
"Or gets put on hold, or is in a mall, or a department store, or a."  
"Alright, I get the point."  
They came to a door labeled 'WAITING' and went in.   
"I hope they turned off the music in there, she'll have torn it up by now."   
The Irken behind the desk shot up and saluted them. He was much shorter than them therefore he was dirt.   
"We are here to collect Aza GE-7." Axia said.  
"Sir, yes Sir!" The littler Irken said dashing off.  
"So what are you and you-know-who up to tonight?" Axia asked as they waited.  
"Oh he's busy tonight. You heard that Zim returned last night didn't you? It's a real disaster, he's taller now!"  
Axias' eyes went wide. "Zim? I thought he was dead. But he's taller? How much taller?"  
"A good two inches taller than you."  
"Oh that's bad."  
Zeta nodded.  
"I said let me go before I tie your antenna in a way that they'll have to cut them to get them loose!"  
"Sounds like Aza's okay."  
The female called Aza stormed into the waiting room. She wore a larger version of the Invader uniform and open finger gloves. By her side a small black, silver, and yellow SIR unit followed.  
"Aza, stop threatening the shorter one." Zeta said. "You're scaring him."  
The short male Irken was actually flustered at being around so many females at once. Tall females at that.  
Axia poked Aza in the shoulder. "You lasted two extra seconds this time. That's good."  
Aza pushed her hand away. "I can't believe I freaked again. I'm an Invader for Bleshas' sake!" She glanced around. "So, what did I miss while I was locked up?"  
Her little SIR unit MD had at this time started giving the short male dirty looks.  
"Didn't you hear? Zim returned." Zeta said. She was glad she hadn't brought any of her SIRs. MD had a bad habit of trying to destroy any other SIR unit around.  
Aza blinked. "Zim? For real?" She paused. "I thought he was dead."  
"So did I!" Axia said shrugging. "Apparently he's separating the love trigs for tonight." She grinned up at Zeta.  
Aza giggled.   
"That's not funny." Zeta growled. She stormed out of the waiting room.   
The other females grinned and followed her. MD walked along side them glaring as hard at anyone in the way as a SIR unit could.  
"I don't see why you're so upset." Axia said.   
Zeta suddenly whirled around. "Wouldn't you be upset if I mentioned how you and Veer carry on at every spare moment you're alone? Hmmm Axia?"  
The Semi-Tallest blinked. "Oh hey come on! We're just friends!"  
Aza just snickered. "You're both funny."  
Axia pushed Aza. "Oh be quiet you. You're lucky I keep claiming you as a dependent."  
Zeta grabbed both of her shorter friends by the collars of their uniforms. "Come on. I want to make it to home before nightfall."  
***  
Zeta sat back in the over stuffed chair. It was night since they were planet side on Irk. She was trying to concentrate on the image on the little screen she held but it was of little use.   
"Stupid Zim and his stupid return." She muttered changing the channels.  
She silently wondered what Aza and Axia were doing.   
Ever since Aza had returned from Musacia as a total wreak she had been living with Axia. Of course the very moment Aza had set foot on Irk she had unexplainably run screaming away from her Voot runner into the crowd. She eventually had smacked right into Zeta and clung to her not letting go till she had been given a tranquilizer.   
Axia had found it all hilarious at the time.   
Once they found out what had happened Axia offered to take in her fellow Semi-Tallest till she was better. It was going to be a long stay.  
In any case Aza was probably showing Axia how to hot wire a Voot Runner or Axia was trying to help Aza stay around muzak without running screaming into the night. Either way it would have been interesting to watch.  
She was about to turn off the little screen when a pair of thin hands clamped over her eyes.  
"Guess who." A male voice said from behind her.  
She pulled his hands off her eyes and got up wrapping her arms around his neck. "Purple!" She squealed. "I thought you were going to be gone dealing with Zim till tomorrow."  
He nodded. "I was, but you know how things go. Zim is being held in isolation. We told him it was quarantine and that we want to make sure he's not infected with anything. He bought it of course."  
"We all thought he was dead." Zeta said as they sat on the couch.  
"I wish!" He put an arm around her shoulder. "That little menace has been plaguing us since he was born! His first mission and he blows half a planet up! How did he do that is what I want to know. I mean all he had was , mmph..." He was cut off by a kiss from Zeta.  
She let the kiss break and curled closer. "You've been gone for five days and all you can talk about is Zim?"  
He smiled. "Oh, I think we can talk about something else."   
She giggled. "Who said anything about us talking?" She kissed him again.  
His thin fingers worked their way along the clasps of her casual uniform. "No one said anything...about..." His sentence trailed as he got the last clasp open.  
***  
"Now put that wire there."   
Zeta could identify Axias' voice as she went into the Second level apartment.  
There was the sound of electricity. "OW!"  
"It's not that bad." Axia said.  
Axia tended to go into to philosophy in her spare time. She had lived alone for a long time with only her little SIR around with her. She did go out and 'socialize' with Zeta and even with that male Veer. Now she had to keep an eye on Aza who had a tendency to disappear.  
Zeta peeked into the small lab that every Second level apartment had for Semi-Tallest. Bigger ones were in the First level apartments for Tallest.  
Both Semi-Tallest were trying to repair a toaster that MD had taken apart last night. The little SIR was sitting in the corner.  
Axias' SIR Yit was standing on the table and quoting repair tips when asked.   
MD tilted back his head. "That Verching toaster isn't worth it."  
"MD! Bad SIR!" Axia scolded.  
"What are you two doing?" Zeta asked.  
Aza spun around faster than the other two expected. "Hi Zeta!" Her right eye twitched a little. "What are you doing here?"  
"Verching!" Yit suddenly chirruped.  
Zeta gave Yit a funny look. "Okay, what have you two been doing to her?"  
"It wasn't us." Axia said sliding the defunct toaster off the table. "It was however MDs' fault." She glared at Aza. "He keeps cursing, she keeps repeating."  
"Not my fault." Aza said defensively.  
"Yes it is, you reprogrammed him."  
Aza grinned. "Oh yeah." She slid up onto the lab table. "So, what'cha doin?" She asked Zeta.  
"Oh nothing. Purple came home last night though."  
The other females immediately perked up.   
"Oh really?" Aza asked.  
"Yes really, not that I'm going to tell either of you what happened."  
Axia smirked. "You will eventually."  
"You never tell me what happens between you and Veer."  
Axia opened her mouth to comment but was interrupted when Aza jumped off the table squealing.  
"Oh no!" She tapped her wristband and the time appeared above her palm in holo. "I'm late for my rehabilitation class!" She bolted out of the room. "Bye!"   
MD scrambled out of his chair and clattered after her.  
"Didn't she fail four whole courses of that already?" Zeta asked.  
Axia nodded. "Mmyep, she sure did. But the court won't allow her to have a hearing unless she goes to them, fail or not."  
"So anyway." Zeta leaned against the table. "Tell me about Veer."  
Axia glared.  
***  
Aza burst through the door to her class panting. MD slammed into her legs unable to stop quickly enough.   
"How kind of you to join us GE-7." A rather spindly Irken male, Derl YW-5 hissed.  
"Sorry." She sat down quickly in one of the many free desks. There were two others in her class both were ex-invaders like her. A female by the name of Keel 624-T-4862638-VR-7 and a male Cur 111-I-0009638-RD-3.  
"I'd like to introduce a new student to this pathetic class, GW-2."   
A Semi-Tallest male came in dressed rather oddly for an Irken. He had some blue pants made of some material Aza couldn't identify. He also wore a dark green shirt with a dark blue one over it. The blue one was open and looked like it should be button closed. He didn't wear boots but something like a childs' footwear. But he did wear gloves, though the fingers were cut open like hers.  
"My name is Zim you Miss. Bitters reject." He muttered. He took a seat next to Cur and immediately looked bored.  
There was a clattering sound outside the door and a little silver and blue SIR unit waddled in.  
"Ooo!" Gir went up to MD immediately intrigued by this other SIR unit.  
MDs' right hand transformed into a multi-tool.   
"Mechanical Death! You leave that unit alone! Come over here and you sit down!" Aza yelled.  
MD looked at her, then at Gir who suddenly hugged him. The more angry of the two SIRs wiggled free of Gir and went to sit where he was told.  
Bye the end of the class Aza was banging her head on the table. Keel was asleep. Cur had actually managed to get a bathroom pass and had yet to come back. Zim was too busy inspecting the oddest writing utensil any Irken had ever seen.  
"Now leave my site you stink worms, or face detention." Derl YW-5 hissed pointing to the door.   
Aza kicked Keels' table before getting up.   
The other female bolted out of the room her little SIR following her.  
"Gir, come here." Zim looked under the tables. "Gir? Where are you?"  
Aza looked down at MD. "MD, my little SIR, who would never EVER lie to me. Did you do something to any other SIRs?"  
"No mistress." MD said.  
"I'm up high master!" A little voice chirruped.  
Zim looked up. "Gir! Get down from there!"  
Aza giggled. This Gir had gotten himself tangled in the overhead lighting wires. She went over to Zim. "Hey Zimmy, I see you still can't get any good help."  
He immediately glared at her. Then he looked surprised. "Az?"  
She grinned. "Hey! You remember me!"  
"You got taller."   
"So did you."  
He shrugged. "They told me it was nutrient driven hormone imbalances."  
She nodded. "I was told that too. So what's with the clothes?"  
He looked down. "Oh, it's the common wear on the planet Earth where I had been sent." He glared up at Gir. "For the last time Gir! Get down here!"  
There were a few snapping sounds and Gir crashed to the ground. "Weeeee oof!" He squealed on the way down.  
"He's, different." Aza commented.  
"He's supposed to be advanced. But he's defective. But he keeps things interesting." Zim said picking Gir up. He motioned to MD. "What's up with him?"  
She was at first confused by his dialect then understood. "Mechanical Death, I call him MD. He was my shield against." She shivered. "Muzak."  
"Hmmm, yes a shield. Gir did help keep the madness at bay. Sometimes."  
"I told you worthless beings to get out!" The 'teacher' hissed.  
Aza who was used to being harassed by this particular being and Zim who was used to one quite similar left the classroom.  
"So, you're up for the Semi-Tallest title to?" Aza asked.  
Zim nodded. "Once I reached this height I was ordered back." He looked disappointed. "I had so much to do there Aza, I almost had it!"  
"Musacia was a push over." She said. "It was almost too easy. But it took three years for the armada to come." She wrapped her arms around herself. "They were all so damn happy!"  
He gave her a sympathetic look.   
"Anyway, who claimed you as a dependent while you're in the program?" She asked.   
"No one." He said sounding almost depressed. "I stay in quarantine while I'm not in the classes." He gave her a sideways look as they walked through the many hallways. "Were you claimed?"  
She nodded. "Her name is Axia. When I finally returned to Irk I, well I went a little berserk." She cracked a smile. "I managed to gain the sympathy of her and her friend Zeta who is a Tallest."  
Zim looked impressed. "Now why does that name sound familiar?" He asked.  
"She was rumored to have a love interest in the Almighty Tallest one Purple." Aza said. "Since our time away it's been confirmed." She winked at him.  
"You mean like the ones about us back at the academy?" He asked giving her a sly look.  
She pushed at him as they walked. "Yeah, exactly the same. You know even your time away at Foodcourtia didn't make those go away."  
He shrugged.  
"Oh I have an idea!" Aza said.   
"I like ideas." He said as they rounded a corner.   
"Not that kind of idea." She said giving him a look.  
He smirked. "Okay fine, what's your idea?"  
***  
"You want me to what?" Zeta asked rather loudly.  
"Claim Zim as a dependant." Aza said.  
"Why on Mother Irk should I claim Zim as a dependent?" Zeta yelled. "He's always in trouble with the Tallest, he almost killed off everyone in the Eastern Hemisphere during 'Impending Doom One'! Not to mention he's a vicious little maniac!" She glared at Zim who was in fact still in the room. "No!"  
"Please?" Aza asked.  
"Why can't Axia do it?" Zeta asked glancing at her friend.   
Axia shook her head. "I wouldn't be allowed to have Co-Ed dependents unless there was a large genetic relation between them. Zim and Aza are not related enough to make it to that category. Only 28% basic genetic similarity."  
Zeta crossed her arms. "Well, I have to talk to Purple."  
Aza brightened. "Yay!"   
"That dose not mean I'll do it!"  
"So what? Close enough!"   
Axia shook her head. "You go run this by The Almighty one Zeta. I'll watch them."  
Zim turned blankly back to the kitchen. "I need a drink." Aza followed him.  
Zeta nodded and headed out the door bumping into the Semi-Tallest Veer.   
"Oh, Tallest Zeta! How nice to see you." He stepped out of her way. "Is Axia home?"  
She went past him hurriedly. "Of course she is. Go on in, I'm sure she's waiting for you." She disappeared out of sight around a corner before he could say anything else.  
***  
"I don't see why you're agreeing to this." Purple said as he and Zeta stopped in front of Axias' door.   
"You said I could help out if I felt like it." She brushed his face with her hand and straightened his uniform top. "Besides you're going to talk to Zim, I don't want you threatening him with death, maybe some mutilation but Aza is too attached to him for death."  
"Okay no death. And stop that. I'm a leader of the Irken Empire, I can put my own clothes on straight."   
She gave him a look. "You can put them on by yourself but you need help taking them off?"  
He opened his mouth to comment but she stopped him. "We've been standing out here long enough." She opened the door. "Axia, I'm back. Axia?"  
"She's in her room!" A slightly slurred male voice said.   
"And so is Veer!" A second but decidedly female voice cried out.  
Zeta and Purple looked into the kitchen finding Zim and Aza sitting beside each other obviously drunk.  
Purple picked up one of three empty bottles. "Inerian Vodka." He set it down and waved a hand in Zims' face.   
Zim bobbed his head trying to keep up with the motion.  
Aza giggled a little. "We were, plhayen a ghame." She said holding up one of four empty shot glasses. "Zimmy taught us it."  
Zim nodded. "Earth 'Spin tha Bottle'." He paused. "Sort of."  
Zeta raised an eyebrow. "Do tell."  
"Ya spin the bottle." Zim said demonstrating by spinning one of the empty bottles on the table. While it spun he poured some of the clear liquid from a half-empty bottle into a shot glass. The bottle stopped spinning, rolled off the table and shattered on the floor.  
"Oops!" Aza squealed.  
Zim shrugged. "Oh well." He downed the shot and then pulled Aza into a kiss. Then he passed out on the table.  
Aza patted him on the head. "It's okay Zimmy." Her head made a hollow 'Thunk' sound as it hit the table.  
"That was different." Purple commented.  
"We can't just leave them there." Zeta said.  
"I'll call up some guards to move them." He commed the security level.   
Suddenly a scream pierced the air. Purple turned to the sleeping quarters as a laser appeared in his hand. He was without his guards this time and always carried one even with them around.   
"What was that?" He asked.  
"Sounded like Axia." Zeta said.   
Purple headed in the direction the scream had come from. He trained the laser on the first thing that moved.  
"Warning, Secondary Mistress Axia denies access to anyone." MD said from his guard post.  
A second scream sounded. Only now it didn't sound panicked, it sounded...  
"Well, in that case." He said quietly as he turned away. "It's all clear Zeta. They're fine."  
The front door slid open and a couple of guards came in. "You called for us my Tallest?" One of them asked.  
"Yes." He motioned to the table where Zim and Aza were. "These two are intoxicated. See to it that the female is placed in her room and that the male is on the couch. Do not under any circumstances disturb the room with the SIR unit in front of it."  
The two guards nodded.   
"Oh and if any of you speak a word of this I'll have your heads mounted on my 'Wall of Idiot Guards'. Understand?"  
"Yes my Tallest!" The two said in unison before going to their appointed tasks.  
Zeta sighed. "This wasn't how I thought this would go."   
"Well at least this way I get to think some more on my 'speech' to Zim." He put an arm around her shoulder. He shook the half-empty bottle he carried as they left. "In the mean time, let's play a game."  



	2. Very Evil

A/N: Once more this is for a friend. Mary Sues are bad bad bad bad bad bad bad Very bad things. I do not recommend that ANYONE do a MS unless you are mentally damaged.  
  
The Things I do for Friends  
  
Veer adjusted his uniform some more as Axia led him to the front door. "I'm sorry if I went over the line last night." He said hesitantly. She was three millimeters taller than him and had the authority to have him vaporized.   
"It's okay Veer, we'll work something out." She said.  
He stepped out of the apartment and waved goodbye as the door shut. She let out a sigh of relief. Maybe no one saw.  
She turned around and saw Aza standing in the kitchen doorway grinning at her. "Have fun last night did you?"  
"What do you mean?" Axia asked hoping she could slip by her dependents' knowing glance.  
"Oh come on Axia, Inerian Vodka may hinder judgement but it does nothing to haze the memory. Last night you were on Veer like a Hanktin Leech on a Golder Fish. So spill."  
"I don't have to. But maybe I should be asking where you got that Vodka in the first place. You're on probation Aza, you can't be caught drinking."  
Aza shrugged. "Sounded like a good idea at the times. Besides, Zim did teach us a fun game didn't he?"  
"Speaking of Zim." Axia said feeling it time to turn the tables. "You tell me what happened when Veer and I." She paused. "Left the room."  
"Oh we downed more shots, then did what he called 'making out', it's some 'Earth' term for 'gleffing'. He did this thing with his tongue that,"  
"I don't want those kinds of details." Axia interrupted.  
"Well we didn't get too far." Aza said smirking at Axia. "But Zeta came in some time before I passed out."  
Axia sighed again. "My head hurts too much for this. I'm going to go paint." She walked away rubbing her head.  
Aza simply smiled and eventually started to grin manically making a small 'heh' sound before she went to find something to do.  
***  
"Do you understand Zim?" Purple asked. He had just threatened Zim with a string of bad things if he so much as looked at Zeta funny.  
Zim nodded. "I understand My Tallest."   
"Then you can leave." Purple waved him away.  
Zim walked out of the room as quickly as he could. Gir zipped off after him asking his master what 'I'll have parts you've never seen mounted on the wall' meant.  
Red, who was seated across the room shook his head. "Why are you letting this happen? I mean I know Zim is taller and that makes him better. But for him to be a dependent to Zeta like that? I wouldn't even let Kipa in the same room as that maniac."  
"But you didn't see him last night. I think that other female will keep him busy."  
"Who? That, oh what's her name? Axis?"  
"Axia."  
"That's the one."  
"No, she's a different story. I mean her dependent Aza."  
Red nodded. "The Musacia Fiasco. It's to bad that planet was found to be useless, wasted a perfectly good invader on it."  
Purple shrugged. "Maybe she'll keep Zim out of our antenna."  
"I hope so. Just the idea of having him running around with that kind of authority is starting to scare me." Red said getting up.   
"The strange thing is that he hasn't done anything yet."   
Red thought a moment. "Maybe he's mellowed out during his time on that planet."  
They exchanged looks.  
"Nah." Purple said.  
"You're right, what was I thinking?" Red asked smacking his forehead.  
***  
'Oooo, he's cute.'   
'Awww, look'it him, he's adorable.'  
'He's staying here now?'  
Three 'female' SIR units watched Gir from across the room. They were standing by their mistress and Gir, while happy to see others like himself, had suddenly become very shy.  
The two Irken Masters didn't actually hear the small conversation between the three SIRs. They were networked together so that Zeta didn't have to listen to the frequent but meaningless conversations.  
Oir, the winged one who gleamed silver and red, lead her counterparts closer to this newcomer.  
Psy, with her own green and silver markings waved at Gir as they came closer.  
Xyl, with the more complex colors of orange, black and silver, was the first to actually say something to him. "Hi." She chirped.  
Zim gave the cluster of new SIR units an odd look as they made a semi-circle around Gir. They began giggling as he started to act more like himself.  
"Don't mind them, they get that way around new SIR units." Zeta said. "You should have seen how they were around MD. They apparently like strong, silent and psychotic."  
"Oh." Zim said.  
"Now, I've had an extra room attached for you. It's down that hall on the right." She motioned in the right direction. "I have to go to a conference so you just settle in. You're things have already been relocated from quarantine."  
"Thank you my Tallest Zeta."  
She gave him a look. "Just call me Zeta." She glanced at her Holo watch. "I have to go and see about the rest of the paperwork for this dependency thing. And I won't be back for awhile."   
Zim watched her go around the room making sure her uniform was on right.   
"Aza will be by to show you around the rest of the compound. She has the passkey so she'll open the door on her own." She went out the door letting is slid shut behind her.  
Zim glanced around the new domicile. He went to his new room and found all of his things in order. Gir followed him and tried to hide from the three other Sirs.  
As Zim rearranged things the lead female SIR Oir turned her head and made a squealing noise.   
Fearing something was wrong he followed the small 'pack' into the main room. The three robots clustered around MD and were giggling madly.  
Aza waved at him. "Hey, come on, there's a place out in the compound we should go see." She motioned to the door. "Just leave your SIR, the triplets will take care of him."  
MD tried to follow Aza and Zim but his mistress stopped him. "You stay MD. And be good." The door closed locking all five SIR units in the apartment.   
MD turned to find the three 'females' looking at him.   
Gir poked his head in. "Waffles?" He asked.  
"Waffles!" The three cried out.  
MD smacked his forehead and hoped for the quick return of his mistress.  
***  
Zeta entered the private office of the Tallest.   
She glanced around and found herself in the presence of Kipa, The Tallest Reds' female companion.  
Kipa looked up at Zeta. She was a rather short female, barely above three feet. She was also a vicious little thing.  
"Oh, Zeta, I heard about you gaining a dependent. How nice for you." Kipa said. She tilted her head a bit. "And how daring, a side affair?"'  
Zeta made a 'huh' sound. "Hardly that Kipa. I only took in Zim because a friend of mine happens to have a liking for him." She narrowed her eyes at Kipa. The other female may be shorter but because she was associated with Red she was technically her equal.  
In the other room Purple and Red peeked in. Then the two wisely stayed out of sight.  
"Looks like they're about to snap and kill each other." Purple said.  
"Let's just hope they don't. Female battles are always a messy thing." Red said peeking back into the other room. "We might as well go in there. Can't have them going for blood. Kipa may be feisty but Zeta can break her for sure."  
Purple went in first. "Zeta, when did you arrive?"  
The two females shot searing glares at Purple and Red. Leaders or not, they were males and had no business in the affairs of rival females.  
Immediately Zeta dispensed with her anger. "Not long ago." She said slipping her arm around Purples'.  
Red stroked one of Kipas' antenna in a common gesture of affection. "Kipa my dear, we should leave now or we'll be late to that party you wanted to go to."  
Kipa straightened her small formal uniform of mostly red colors. "Of course."  
Red took her small hand in his and they left.  
Once the door shut Purple kissed Zetas' neck. "Feeling up to another game?" He asked.  
She smiled. "You've been just dying to ask that haven't you?"  
He let his fingers work along the clasps of her uniform. "Of course. That is a fun game."  
She narrowed her eyes playfully. "I'm sure it's meant for more than just two people to play."  
"So drinking and foreplay are two things that go together, game or no game." He undid a certain clasp that let her main chest piece fall away. "Let's play anyway."  
She pushed him away and made an exasperated sound. "Why play that silly game when we can just drink and." She let her sentence trail and undid two clasps at her waist letting the bottom part of her uniform fall to the floor. All she had on was a blue corset like piece that went under it all. "Do other things." She continued turning back to him.  
She pulled herself up on one of the desks and motioned him closer.  
He went forward and put his arms around her waist. He let her undo the clasps of his own uniform and when his main chest plate came off he started kissing her neck gently.   
He pushed forward making her lay back on the desk. He started to undo the small ties along the side of her under piece when the door came open with a hiss.  
"Ah geez!" Red yelled. "Can you two please not do that on my desk?"  
Purple turned his head. "Red, get out." He said holding back the urge to decapitate his counter part for interrupting him.  
Zeta glared and hissed a warning to Kipa who had peeked into the room. The other female disappeared from sight.  
Red backed out the door. "Just not on my desk! Have some decency!" The door shut.  
Purple looked back down at Zeta. "We should move to somewhere more secluded."  
She pulled him down harder. "No." Her voice was barely a hiss. He knew better than to go against her wishes when she was this way.   
Red was out of luck this time.  
He went back to what he had been doing and finally got the rest of her clothing off. He felt something come loose around his waist and he kicked away his uniform bottom.   
They were both fairly thin. Taller Irkens would look horribly malnourished to the Human eye.   
None of this was for reproduction of course. Ten generations of growing children in tubes had done nothing to erase a billion or so years of hardwiring done by evolution.  
"Mmmm...Purple." She murmured into his neck sliding one leg up along him.   
Outside a passing soldier paused hearing the sounds from within. He tilted his head to hear better. The growls became screams. Then became low moans.  
He glanced around nervously and hurried on down the hall just incase anyone else was listening in.  
***  
The bar tender looked to the back of the room. A couple of ex-invaders had come in about an hour ago. They were Semi-Tallest but were only that due to something that happened on a mission. They were also drunk by now.  
The male of the two started cackling and the bar tender decided that cutting them off might be a wise move.  
He watched the male suddenly drape an arm around his female companion. He frowned, if they got too close he'd have to call security. He didn't have the insurance to cover the imminent fight over the female if she got, 'receptive'.  
He watched the female flick her tongue at the male.  
She was either loose or really drunk to make such a blatant display as that.  
Zim widened his bleary eyes at what she had just done.   
Her eyes blinked slowly and she got up unsteadily. "C'mon, we gotta go, um, back." She pulled on his arm and he got up and followed her.  
They walked out of the bar swaying noticeably and Zim started to lead them to an elevator.   
Aza pulled him into a different direction to an open lift. "No. Those'r bad." She said, her voice was heavily slurred.  
Zim, while disappointed at not being in an enclosed space did like that they stopped in the upper floors of the Barracks compound. They were going to his place, not hers. He didn't take into account that Aza still had to get MD back but that didn't matter to him at the moment.  
They stopped at the door to Zetas' apartment and spent some time trying to get the door open before if finally did. They found them selves surrounded by SIR units.  
MD looked more cross than usual but the others seemed happily covered in some sort of pale concoction. Whatever it was it stuck to everything.  
"Oooo....Is Zeta gonna be mad!" Aza cooed. She then cackled sending Zim into a fit of laughter as well.  
They once more stumbled around to the back of the apartment into Zims' room.   
***  
The next morning Zeta entered her apartment groggily to find Aza laying on the couch flipping the channels on the Tele-screen.  
"Lemme guess." The shorter female said not looking up. "You and Purple had some fun."  
"Mmmrrhh, shush. No yelling." Zeta said rubbing her head. "What are you doing here?"  
"I got drunk and lucky."  
"Shouldn't you have a hang over?" Zeta asked slumping down in a chair.  
"Nuh-uh." She tapped her head. "An Invaders' body chemistry is tampered with so that even if our brains hemorrhaged we wouldn't feel it." She flipped few more channels.  
Suddenly the door to the cleansing chamber came open and Zim brushed off the fine dust from his 'shower'. He had a towel around his waist in the Human fashion. "Aza, do you know where my shirt." He stopped on seeing Zeta. "Oh." His eyes dropped to the ground.  
Zeta waved a hand at him in agitation. "Shut up."  
Aza got up off the couch. "I should go." She picked up MD who was sitting on the floor by her and slipped out the door before either Zeta or Zim could speak.  
"I'll go to my room now." Zim said.  
"You do that."  
Zim closed the door behind him and sat on his bed. It was still unmade from last night. He had never in his life thought a female would ever do that with him. Though he and Aza did have a fling back at the academy it wasn't recorded as anything beyond a rumor to the rest of society. Only Semi-Tallest and Tallest were allowed to do things like that.  
He was about to crawl back into bed and attempt to relive the experience when.  
"What the krek is all over the walls?!?"  
His eyes snapped open as he remembered the mess left by the SIRs. He cringed wondering what Zeta would do and muttered a human curse. "Well...shit."  
  
_________________________________________  
  
GAH! It's over! Make it go away! I was strongly against this in the first place...damn my friends for using my writing time for their own amusement...DAMN THEM!   
  
Not really.  
  
Chaotica~  
  
Villans do not always lose, nor do you always see them.  



End file.
